I didn’t exactly know how to start this, my mind has been spinning ’round in circles debating whether I should even write anymore. I’ve been neglecting this blog for so long I feel like I forgot how it felt to even write anymore, you know its not considered ‘cool’ to blog, Youtube is the new in thing now. Anyway, that’s not why I’m here.
Lately I’ve been feeling like i’m holding my breath, stuck in this realm of in-between where nothing happens but life goes on, where i’m physically present but my mind is thinking of the hundred and one reasons people die or why the continents split apart after the big bang. I’ve been trying so hard to be this person that people like I forgot how it felt to be myself….. maybe I’ve forgotten who that is.
I met this person that told me everything I wanted to hear, all the sweet things I wanted to believe. ( they even read this blog, crazy )It was a movie and for the first time in a long time I was entirely myself, it was a short movie though ( sorry to get your hopes up) it ended and that was fine. I wasn’t sad, in all honesty I was genuinely concerned, but I’ve veered off topic here. It was like everybody around me was falling in love and I hated it, I just wanted to go home you know sit and watch some Netflix and forget people exist for a bit. But then I realized how good it is to take time off, to relax, to clear your mind, to take time for your own mental growth and maintenance. Its a good feeling if i’m being honest, I’ve really let myself go and currently I have no idea who I am, so i’m going to continue writing because I like doing it ( maybe one day i’ll even write a book haha) But anyway for those who’ve read this, thanks for reading I appreciate you taking time to listen to my thoughts. For those who haven’t, well I guess you won’t see this and that’s okay.
But for now, It’s been nice